Quadrametrics

My brother michael made this over break.  Cool eh?  He calls it “NBD, Angel of Death”. Oh to be twelve again. 

“I want to write about people I love, and put them into a fictional world spun out of my own mind, not the world we actually have, because the world we actually have does not meet my standards. Okay, so I should revise my standards; I’m out of step. I should yield to reality. I have never yielded to reality. That’s what SF is all about. If you wish to yield to reality, go read Philip Roth; read the New York literary establishment mainstream bestselling writers….This is why I love SF. I love to read it; I love to write it. The SF writer sees not just possibilities but wild possibilities. It’s not just ‘What if’ - it’s ‘My God; what if’ - in frenzy and hysteria. The Martians are always coming.”

-Philip K Dick

“Your parents don’t like me because I am poor,
They say I’m not worthy of entering your door.
I work for my living, my money’s my own,
and if they don’t like me they can leave me alone. ”

“He planted his corn on June the last,
In July was up to his eye,
In September there came a big frost,
and all that young man’s corn was lost.”

“Put ‘em on and be yourself, mister alienated loner steppenwolf bemused distant meta-izing technocrat rationalist fucking shithead”. *

Thank you Mr Stephenson.

*Diamond Age, page 379

how to gain weight and muscle | bodybuildingwarrior.org
how to gain weight and muscle…
how to gain weight and muscle…

Dear “how to gain weight and muscle”,
I too am curious as to how one gains both weight and muscle. If you find out, be sure to send in another comment.
-Jim

cheap viagra online | 50@nik.345.pl | cheap-viagraonline.org
Good and in depth article but full of useful information

Thanks 50,
You make a good point. Perhaps my posts would be even longer and more penetrating if I had the aid of near-fatal amounts of cheap, cheap Canadian Viagra.
-Jim

Necklaces | 55@nik.345.pl | lngjewelry.com
Thank you very much for that glorious article

Why thank you, 55@somebotnet.com,
If I ever need a necklace to go with the cheap Viagra that your brother 50@thesamebotnet.com seems to be recommending, I’ll drop you a line.
-Jim

Kouba | gilcreaseqejayma1795@gmail.com | antenka.net
I really like your blog and i respect your work. I’ll be a frequent visitor.

Dear Kouba,
Unfortunately I do not foresee my becoming a frequent visitor of yet another warez-ridden mp3 download site, but thanks for the complement.  It’s good that you respect me. It means a lot to me.
-Jim

babafisa | 61@nik.345.pl | gametorg.net
It is the second entry I read tonight. Thank you.

Dearest 61,
The second entry? such interest! Thank you 61.
You are far more respectful than your colleagues 50 and 55.
You are by far my favorite person on nik.345.pl.
-Jim

Clemento | gilcreaseqejayma1795@gmail.com | european-tablets.com
In truth, immediately i didn’t understand the essence. But after re-reading all at once became clear.

Dear Clemento,
I’m sorry to hear of your significant other’s recent struggles with erectile dysfunction.  I am even more sorry that my post, ‘www.personal-finance-guide.org : a summary’ was at first unclear to you.  Truly it is a symptom of my utter and complete failure to coherently communicate my thoughts to the world at large.  I apologize profusely, and will gladly send you a personal email expressing both my regret over your perceived incomprehension, and my joy at the improvement in your love life brought about by European-tablets.com, that blood-filled bastion of soft-Cialis, both in tablet and oral gel form.
However, I am deeply saddened by the loss of time caused by your first, fruitless, reading of my post. The only thing that prevents me from driving my fist through my computer screen while screaming aloud, and retreating to even darker areas of the blogosphere at this very moment is your description of the singular convergence of thought you obtained upon a second reading. I can only imagine the orgasmic moment you must have had when you understood the true extent of the spiraling madness that www.personal-finance-guide.org would visit upon the already battered Internet plebeian in these trying economic times. You must also have appreciated the irony of mocking an unqualified man attempting to make some quick cash by spinning a tissue of vagueness and promoting this tissue as sound financial advice by buying out bloggers for a fraction of a dollar on mturk.  You understood my rage ‘after re-reading all’.
Thank you. Thank you Clemento.
-Jim

best way to build muscle | bodybuildingwarrior.org
best way to build muscle…
best way to build muscle…

Dear “best way to build muscle”,
Wait - you actually know what the best way to build muscle is?  Perhaps you can enlighten both myself and the earlier poster, “how to gain weight and muscle”.
-Jim

John | eurotablets.eu
Thank you! You often write very interesting articles. You improved my mood.

Dear John,
I am incredulous. You appear to be claiming that my site ‘improved your mood’. Improved your mood!!??  The unstated aim of quadrametrics.com is to drive the hapless reader into a mood of the darkest thoughts - where nightmarish daydreams whisper to each other as they chase themselves into an impenetrable shroud of voices that makes it impossible for you to concentrate on anything but your own misery.  If this constitutes an improvement for you then perhaps eurotablets.eu can help, becuase sadly you are beyond my power to save.
-Jim

elytSaruaG | gaurastylekiev@mail.ru | gaurastyle.kiev.ua
Сайт не линкопомойка. Коменты ответные как по шаблону…

Dear elytSaruaG,
Are you affiliated with the KGB?  Or do you represent my Russian-American friend’s parents trying to find yet another avenue of communication through which to dominate his life. In either case, please translate your comments into an approximation of English before posting them on this site.
Thank you, I look forward to reading your future comments,
-Jim

Hospedagem Barata | youtube.com/watch?v=vCbhbZW19sc
Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also…

Dear Hospedagem - if that is your real name,
I must congratulate you on your phrase.  “Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing” is quite simply the best abstract art title that I have ever heard.  My artiste at large, Matteiu CrawDeFroid, has been alerted and has already begun work on an installation at the MOMA (museum of modern art) bearing that name. He is currently smearing banana peels on a piece of cardboard, but I have faith that in time his fecund mind will soon do credit to your brilliant notion.
I look forward to our future creative collaborations,
-Jim
P.S. You can’t take my feeds.  They are mine and I won’t let you have them.

gain weight and muscle | bodybuildingwarrior.org
gain weight and muscle…
gain weight and muscle…

Dear “gain weight and muscle”,
I don’t need you harping on my scronny physique. I happen to have been genetically gifted with thin bones, that can only support the un-swolliest of pecs. I have to put up with a lot of shit in my life, but I don’t have to put up with you. Get off of my site, go pick on someone your own size, and then post the resulting video on youtube. Watching two self-propelled mounds of muscle ram into each other at high velocity would greatly amuse me.
-Jim

Hammerschmidt | Hammerschmidt@gmail.com | PrimeGoldBuyers.com
I like your blog

Yauch | Yauch@gmail.com | PrimeGoldBuyers.com
I like your blog

Chatten | Chatten@gmail.com | PrimeGoldBuyers.com
I like your blog

Dear Hammershmidt, Yauch and Chatten,
Thank you very much for the complement. I am happy to hear that PrimeGoldBuyers.com survived the recent collapse of the Internet gold market caused by the US Government’s choice of Cash4Gold.com
as their sole agent to convert that US Federal Gold Reserve into Cash.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/u_s_to_trade_gold_reserves_for
Nonetheless, despite all of the goodwill you three have heaped upon me, like the biblical magi of two millenia ago, it seems that fortune has not been entirely too kind to you, as Yauch’s gmail account appears to have been deactivated.  Sorry Yauch.  Hammershmidt and Chatten, best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Closing Remarks

Thank you readers for your comments. I entreat you all to continue to send them. I spend at least a fraction of a second reading each comment, as I scroll down to the bottom of the wordpress administrative comment-handling form in order to select all comments and bulk-moderate them as spam.

Preamble — I wrote this a couple of years ago and came across it today while organizing my files.  It originally contained some cheesy social commentary which I have removed for this Internet version.

I wake, breathlessly, into the broken stare of a cracked ceiling.  The sound of birds reverberates throughout the sterile space, bouncing off the plaster walls, and the single window which lets the morning light fall upon my face.
The first thought that strikes me is a desire to fall back into oblivion, to let the music of my soul take me away to green and blue electric dreams, filed with the stench of freedom and justice, and the warmth of body heat reflected off a comforter.  To crawl into the velvety womb of fantasy.
But my body will not allow me to sleep.  Already its pangs of hunger shoot angry tendrils into my conciousness, and my spirit tries to escape from that sense as well, and recoil back into the parental warmth from which it has gradually emerged over the past decades.

Tick. Tick. Tick.  Time washes away the seconds.  The streets are bright in the morning light.

Several hours later, I’m walking down Hurley street, directionless.  Its summer, and I pass the shops, lazy shadows bekoning inwards from their doors.  Fellow shoppers walk with me, buzzing between the shops, buying, buying, buying.  They carry their loot home with them in bags, strapped to their hands.  I walk up to a woman I’m sure I’ve seen before, and start to speak.  She looks at me, puzzled.  I walk away again.  Stares garnered in my direction begin to accummulate.  I’m puzzled by their intensity.  I stroke the twisted grey-black strings protruding from my face.

The pain begins again, stronger this time than before. The intensity of thought, of emotion, begins to slowly creep its way across my cereberal cortex.  I need.  I need. I need. To escape, to escape, to escape from this life I have made for myself, from this hunger which cannot be sated, this thirst which cannot be quenched. Perhaps to question is madness, but I cannot escape from it, I cannot escape.  And then I am left empty again, thought-free, and cold.  I am hungry.  I try to remember what I was just thinking about, but my memory seems to me an unbreachable wall of tangled wires.  I cannot penetrate my own thoughts, and gradually even the will to remember fades from my mind.

I reach into the remaining pocket of my faded jeans and feel three thick peices of paper.  A crush of memory beholds me and I can see myself holding them, buying a drink.  A cup of cofee, A cup of wine.  A cup of whisky, a dram of time.  The rhyme occurs to me suddenly, and I chortle out loud, opening my mouth.  A moment later, I feel a small drool of saliva has run down my jaw, and that perhaps I have been louder than I realize.  I respond to the stares of those around me by looking down at the shoes on my feet - the leather is worn brown in parts, but much of the original black is still there.  I mutter an apology and a complaint, under my breath, and walk onwards.

It is getting darker now, and colder.  I slowly make my way towards a restaurant I know, to get some food.  As I slowly approach, the light from the gleaming signs relfects off of the wet tarmac, somehow penetrating the smears on my glasses.  I realize that its raining, and I don’t care.  Water doesn’t bother me any more. I’m tough; my skin as hard as leather.  I feel the wetness run down my back with a sustained indifference.  I know it will not affect me.  The rain will not work its way to my inner world.

When I had no roof I made
Audacity my roof. When I had
No supper my eyes dined.

When I had no eyes I listened.
When I had no ears I thought.
When I had no thought I waited.

When I had no father, I made
Care my father. When I had
No mother I embraced order.

When I had no friend I made
Quiet my friend. When I had no
Enemy I opposed my body.

When I had no temple I made
My voice my temple. I have
No priest, my tongue is my choir.

When I have no means fortune
Is my means. When I have
Nothing, death will be my fortune.

Need is my tactic, detachment
Is my strategy. When I had
No lover I courted my sleep.

(C) Robert Pinsky

The frosty dawn breaks through my soul
in shades of unconsidered nostalgia

I yearn for comfort,
for another’s warmth,
for justification.

For a dead past,
for an impossible nothing,
for a necessary everything.

The dawn turns the pane of deadened glass through which it shines
as ghostly blue as the low moon fast falling from the sky.

I lie in my bed, insomnia churns.
Undefeated. I will sleep.

“Will we benefit from a universal health care system?”

I don’t know.  The only question I can and will answer, is:

“Will you benefit from a universal health care system?”

“Actually, almost all people hold at least one card. It’s true that credit cards have become important sources of recognition.”

“When people live in a free market economy like America, good and bad can result as a direct consequence of people’s actions. Some people may mass large sums of money while others may become bankrupt.”

“Your financial information is among the most valuable information you own.”

“There were several keys to the fun we had as kids. One is that when you have a small amount of money, you think about what you are going to spend it on. If it was inline skates, you thought about the purchase for weeks, planning the style and brand and estimating when you would have the money saved up. You would imagine yourself on them, zipping here and there. You would forego candy bars and gum in favor of another quarter towards the skates.”

“Have you ever had a problem with a check that you have written, or that someone has written to you, and when you called the bank to inquire about it, you found yourself lost when the customer service representative began to ask questions about the check?”

A response to the section on HELOCs (Home Equity Line Of Credit):

“I have to say that is really not good advice at all. Any financial professional will tell you that having an emergency fund is a smart financial move. No (good) financial professional would tell these people to use debt over savings. That is just bad advice, plain and simple.”

“To have a healthy finance life, we need a healthy life style. Without health, personal finance planning makes no sense any more. Here is a great natural health blog - healthyfellow.com, it publishes natural health information daily, the best part is that these information are validated by scientific research, natural and science are the perfect match for health, don’t miss it.”